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This period represents a full decade since the phrase “ghosting” entered the mainstream. Back then, the concept that someone could suddenly stop communication with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the pinnacle of indignity. Our innocence was charming. In the decade since, navigating toward a mate has only become more confounding – an oftentimes pointless exercise in embarrassment that is increasingly pigeonholed by online slang.

Zoomers, a cohort who grew up during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a concerted attack on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a far messier environment than their Gen Y predecessors could ever envision. And so their romantic lexicon has grown more elaborate and more deranged, with terms like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” testing the limits of your sanity.

What follows is a comprehensive breakdown to the terms Zoomers is using to discuss love, intimacy and the search of both. To channel one of the recent most enduring memes, by the end of this glossary you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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A

Realness – According to Zoomers, romance's ultimate goal is presenting as your real, unvarnished self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon connected to a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you bring up something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your date's reaction is engaged or disinterested. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Black cat girlfriend – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while oozing mystery and independence. (She might still have that fringe.)

C

Support test – This means going for someone who aids you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a chair for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A date where two people form a link while doing chores, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke young adults do low-cost romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Crashing out – Melting down when you feel burdened by life. You can lose it over a crush or breakup, venting all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 80s yuppie affluence, it refers to pairs who opt out of having children to focus on their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The opposite of being guarded: practicing communication, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Flags

• Warning signs – Behavioral traits indicating a prospective partner is trouble. Such as calling their former partners crazy, subpar gratuity habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Positive signs – These quirks affirm your choice to date a partner. For instance following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe niche, largely benign quirks. Examples include being an keen birdwatcher, still carrying around a pen in their purse, paying the rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you connect with someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the WWII or physical media hoarding or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who despises the same stuff or people that you do (nothing fosters closeness faster than having a common enemy).

The Letter G

Geese – A band many young men is into.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon partner who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully delaying climax so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An archetype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no aspirations of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and frequently trivial repulsions that immediately kill any feelings of desire.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an extremely sweet display.

J

Jobs – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate partner: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd seek out partners in fields they believe are being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, educators or therapists.

K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that kissing has been around for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be limited since some gen Z prefer fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen romance authentic.

Light catfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more important than it is. Also known as {